Saskun

Saskun is the word used by the nomads in Yarkand, China, for an illusion, where you feel you can see your destination on the horizon, you can feel it, almost touch it, and will be there soon, but in reality you are still far, far away.....

This is the story of my Saskun..........but in reverse.

The year is 1853.

I am standing in the middle of the afternoon, around 2-3pm, on a single lane, black tarred road. All around, the land is barren, dry with scattered patches of brown grass. Something pretty similar to Khajurao or Jhansi. Semi desert landscape. And it's all hot and dusty due to summer time. The sky is clear and has a whitish haze due to the heat.
The road goes straight and right ahead is a white rectangular pillar around 2 feet wide and 6 feet high on the left side of the road. There is a small square platform on top and then a round white structure on top.
There is a white boundary wall on the left, but on the right side of the road there is neither a post or a boundary wall. That side consists of a thick foliage of trees. The road after the so called entrance turns towards the left and the rest of it is hidden by the wall.
After the turn the driveway becomes straight and has thick trees on the right for 20 meters or so. And on the left there is the wall and dry grass. As I move on there's this huge white villa on the right side, facing South. The house is a single storied structure and is rectangular. A semi parched lawn is there in front of the house with some rose bushes and other plants on the sides and the driveway after turning right into the porch does not continue ahead.
The porch has 3 or 4 tall cylindrical pillars which taper towards the top. The base of the pillars is made up of 3 squares of decreasing sizes. There are 3 doors to the entrance and the middle one is functional. It is made up of mahogany dark brown wood and has two shutters along with movable slits in the top panel.
As I enter there is a cool dark hall and on the left side of that hall there is a pista green double door with rough peeling paint and the white paint below is visible in patches. This is my room I know. And though I don't go inside I know there is a queen size poster bed inside facing the window opening towards the front of the house. The bed has some kind of a cloth roof. Maybe some kind of a mosquito net. The one window opens into the front of the house and has two shutters and is made up of double layer of small, clear glass squares, around 4 or 5 in number vertically. There is some significance attached to a writing desk of dark wood in my room with a sloping panel on top and multiple small drawers in the front, followed by a flat portion for writing, because I see it very clearly. This is the pre-electricity times as I don't recollect any fan or light inside the house. There is no attached bathroom to my bedroom so maybe this was the time of outhouses and washrooms at a distance from the main house. Just ahead of my room, around 6-7 steps away there is a brown stone staircase turning perpendicular and of about 8 stairs. It leads to a passage where other members of the family stay. Just next to it, at a lower level, is a gallery going towards the kitchen or the pantry.I see the back of a male servant in white going there.
I am Aditya Rai (or Rao) around 35 years old. Dark, 5'9" in height, moderate built, black hair, and shiny, maybe because of some kind of hair oil in them. I am wearing a long white kurta and an elaborately tied white starched dhoti with pleats and all in the front panel. We are some kind of land owners, kind of zamindars, hence I feel the title Rai.
I am married to Parvati. She is also dark, shorter and slim. Obviously younger. I see her in a green blouse and red/orange saree. Very conventional and traditional. I recollect some kind of a religious ceremony, maybe my marriage where I am wearing beads of white flower buds with two strands hanging from the side of my head.
Gatti is the younger daughter, around 5 years old, very chirpy and all smiles. She reminds me of Jai. And I of course love her to bits. And the name is Gatti, I double checked it, not Guddi, but Gatti. Just looking at her in my trance brought a smile on my face.
In the gallery mentioned above where there are rooms some one called Deodhar lives. He intimidates me to some extent as I was a bit uncomfortable thinking about him and could be an elder brother or father.
Next to the house, on it's left there is a teak plantation and admist the trees there are two huts made up of mud walls and thatch roof. These are for servants of the house hold. In one of these huts there is an old man called Kaptun (vernacular of Captain?) who stays there with his wife and is the trusted man friday of the household. He is thin, short, white hair and very dark.
I have no recollection of any automobiles so it could be a time period in the late 18th century. Or some where very remote in the countryside because the roads were tarred.
I do not see any calamity of any kind so most probably we live up to a ripe old age.
That is all I remember for now. After the main bulk the rest comes in bits and pieces. The funny part was that it all started from the writing desk. It really holds the key to my past, wherever it is.
The other day the word Archana river popped into my mind. I googled it but couldn't find any mention of any such river. Then by chance I came across Archana hills in Chattisgarh. There is a Achanakmar wildlife sanctuary too in Mungeli district. Topographically it matches the area I have imagined.

 I also see a white structure with a big dome on top. I went on the net with a fine tooth & comb and came up with some interesting facts to tally with my imagination. Yet on another day I turn around from the place I am standing right in the beginning and I see that the road is going straight to a small cluster of houses at a walkable distance. There is this huge banyan tree and a few tall, thick trees clustered in that village surrounded by the barren landscape. A white temple spire can be seen next to the banyan tree on the left side of the settlement. I can not see any houses or people but I know there is a well and a small settlement. I even knew the name of that place then, but forgot to write down then and have forgotten it now. I hope it comes back soon. This could be all true, or all a figment of my subconscious, but whatever it is, it is intense and very real.
Nonetheless, it was an amazing, once in a life time, experience and in a way it changed me forever........
My own Parallel Universe! Add on 1: Pimpri is the name of the village that you come to after leaving the house. It is straight down the road and has a huge banyan tree, a white washed temple with a tall spire and a few houses.

2. After 7 years I dreamt about that time again. To add to the surprise was my being in Bhilai, Chhattisgarh. There was a kind of balcony extending from the front left side of the house. The space space was covered, around 6-7 feet in width and the floor was hexagonal in shape. There was a kind of thick iron chicken meshwork screen on the tall 5 arches which extended from the high roof to the floor. The floor was grey cemented or reddish in colour. The meshwork was most probably for monkeys or thieves as the small verandah was directly connected to house, by a small gallery, without any gate in between.