Well no kasam as such but just liked the title. Ganga at Kanpur. I love it when it's all swollen and murky. Then it looks like the river they talk about in mythology and literature.
23rd is my flight from Del to B'lore and the fog is on the rise! In all my wisdom I got the booking done for the 9am flight but looking at the conditions I feel even that to will be a bit too early. It's 12:30pm and the fog is still very much there over here in Lucknow. I guess, I should be mentally prepared for a long haul at the airport. And with two kids in tow, that should be fun!
22nd November. The Chamber. Haze is the word which comes to my mind if I had to describe the state I am in. Everything around is bright and clear. Atleast all the physical things. I can analyse. I can converse. I took a detailed, extempore class. But mentally I seem to be far, far away. I can feel myself breathing. Which is not a good thing when it means every single breath. Floating would be the second word which comes to my mind if I had to describe my mental state right now. Swimming is good most of the times but you can also float once in a while and let the currents guide you. "After the slumber of the year The woodland violets reappear; All things revive in field or grove And sky and sea, but two, which move And form all others, life and love." - Shelley
Life at times is like an intoxicant. You are aware of your surroundings, you are lucid, but you are also comfortably numb. I have had this phrase with me since ages. Thats what you get when you hear Pink Floyd too early on in life. I knew the song since I was around 10, I guess. But the gist of the song came much later when I was in my mid 30s. My comfortably numb is a state of peace in a way and not a mildly disturbing song as sung by the Floyds. It's the closest I come to nirvana or tranquility. I like it because I don't do dumb or risky stuff in this state. Boredom is the state when I am the most dangerous surprisingly. Factors which help in my being comfortably numb is a stable job, standard routine, regular sleep pattern, no burning ambition to prove anything and the desire to lie low and hibernate, and lastly the feeling that you have been there, done that, many times over. I don't know for how long I will stay this way but I should make the most of it while it...
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