Random musings

For a person who loves his idleness and tries his best to be carefree I seem to be extremely busy all the time. How do people manage to run clinic, do volunteer/charity work or even read beats me. I am so sleepy by 10pm that someone would think that I had slaved in a stone quarry somewhere. Where do they get the time from? What do I do the whole day? Where does time go? Why don't I have enough of it?
Just now the attendant in my department came and tied a rakhi to me! That was something I wasn't expecting and despite my general rapid response took me by surprise. Though I must say that she moved really fast and it was all done in 3 minutes flat. I am getting too soft. Damn it! There should be a SOP for such eventualities.
I have to do something about the mental drifting. This year is taking way too long to get over. I feel as if I am slowly sliding done a mountain side, moving along with the slush and mud. It isn't harming me in any way and is all wet and gooey but nonetheless I don't have any control over it and neither do I know where it's all going to end. Such events make me realise how complacent a life I have been leading and a little bump is all it takes to throw me off balance.
The problem is too much reliance on happiness. People who are mundane or pessimistic all the time seem to remain unaffected. Did I have a good stretch for way too long now? Is this pay back time?
Irony of life : when you feel you will be screwed, it turns out you are safe. When you feel you are safe. You are screwed!
I feel like a traveler on a night train. My destination is supposed to come sometime in early morning. There is no landmark visible and it's pitch dark outside. The train is hurtling through the barren landscape. Everyone else is asleep inside the compartment. The air conditioning is at full blast and I am freezing to death. I am dying to get into the blanket and go back to sleep but if I do so I might miss my station where the train will stop just for a few minutes. You don't know whether the train is running before time, on time or is late, you have no clue where have you reached, you don't know how far your station is and you have a sneaking suspicion that you might have already missed your destination because you remember the train stopping somewhere in between but you could not read the name of the station in the dark. In such situation all you can do is wait.
The blessing is that I have this innate feeling that whatever will happen will happen for the best. I am not good with change but so far whenever it has come I have adapted to it.